Everybody gets a terrifying phone call at least once in their life. If you haven’t, you will.
Seven days ago, our granddaughter Jasmine and I were snuggled together on the couch watching Netflix when my cell buzzed. It was her mom, Christine, sobbing: “The blood clinic called. Jasmine is critical. We have go to Children’s Hospital immediately.”
Two hours later we got the diagnosis: Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. (photos and details here)
I was in shock for days. In fact I still have not cried much. But I wake up in the night. And “Jasmine has leukaemia” runs on an endless loop in my head. And fear grips me. I cannot imagine my world without Jasmine in it. She lives four doors down. She has traveled to women’s events with me. We bake and shop and work and paint and garden and hit playgrounds and do projects together every other day. She’s my mini-me only so much better!
So where is God in all this? I think He is trying to send me a message because I hear the same thing everywhere….
First: My pastor/husband Gerry preached from Psalm 91 three days after Jasmine’s diagnosis. The one who lives under the protection of the Most High dwells in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.
“Do you trust Me?” He asked.
“I am so afraid!” I replied.
Second: Reading a mystery novel for diversion after waking up at two a.m. last night: “But he’s frozen with fear….When that fear is replaced by faith he’ll be the soloist.” I looked up, “You’re kidding!”
Third: I called Air Canada’s Aeroplan this morning to cancel a flight I booked the day before Jasmine got the diagnosis. A soft spoken woman named Zena took my call and asked how she could help. “I booked a flight to Texas on January 16 but the next day we were told that our granddaughter has leuk….sob!” I couldn’t continue.
“That’s ok. Take your time. I understand,” Zena said.
“Leukaemia” I managed to say between sobs and apologies.
Zena interrupted my apologies with, “You must have faith! I will say a prayer for you that you will have faith!”
And then she shocked me further, “My daughter had leukaemia when she was four. We went through a very hard time. But she is well! She is 32! I know what you are going through. You must have faith!”
I was floored. I told Zena she was the angel God had sent to me today. She added, “I wasn’t supposed to come in to work today, but I did, and you called me…” she paused.
“And that’s God!” I finished for her, “and He used you!”
“Yes,” Zena agreed. “He wants you to have faith.”
God’s Word, a mystery novel, and an angel named Zena — Trust. Believe. Have faith.
Choosing to trust God with Jasmine’s future will be a one-yes-at-a-time journey for me. Fear is dogging my tracks but God is showering me with assurances that He is good, that He’s got this, and that I can trust Him.
In his sermon Gerry quoted Ps 91:2 “My God, in whom I trust” and said, “You need to say it out loud. Let God hear you say you can trust Him.”
Here I go: My God, in whom I trust!
You can follow Jasmine’s Journey here.